I wouldn't want to be famous for the sake of it," argues Gin.
"You ought to be famous for something, because you've
contributed something to the human race, whether it's a song or you
saved someone's life or discovered a new element in the periodic
in the periodic table?" Amanda says. "What are you talking
about? There's like a million elements and no-one is famous for
discovering any of them. And why would you be famous for discovering
something that is basically a rock anyway? Who's interested?"
draws herself up to her full height of five feet three inches and
says, with dignity: "I did not necessarily mean exactly
discovering elements. I meant making a scientific discovery of
benefit to mankind. I was using it as an example."
I've discovered Bourbonium," says Amanda, pouring another drink.
about if someone invented a teleporter? They'd be bloody famous for
that. That's a scientific discovery that would benefit humankind.
Steve Jobs is famous and all he basically did was make computers
white and put an apple logo on them."
is it going to benefit humankind when Jeff Goldblum gets trapped in
one with a fly? Because you know that's going to happen."
sip my drink and think about being famous. I don't want fame. I would
rather be anonymous. The idea of being a public figure, recognised
wherever I go, scares and depresses me.
I do want money. Money, money, money, like an invisible protective
blanket, buying me time and freedom and safety. Buying me people to
deal with unpleasantness so I don't have to look, and cleaners to
clean up the shit so I never have to touch it again, and big men and
steel doors to protect me. Buying me plane tickets at a moment's
notice whenever I felt like running away and hotels wherever I want
to go. Bringing all the physical and mental comfort and pleasure I
need. Absolving me of the need to work every day. Life could be clean
and simple and beautiful.
the same instinct, the avoidant instinct, that leads me to lie
people lie, at least to some extent. In my opinion, people who say
they don't lie are generally liars.
get me wrong. I don't think of lying as a positive thing. I try not
to do it. When I do do it, I feel guilty when I get away with it and
embarrassed when I'm caught.
you can learn a lot about yourself - about who you are, what you
want, and what scares you - by looking at when and how you lie.
when do I lie? I lie when I panic, when I've been caught out in a
mistake or a failure. I lie when I'm afraid telling the truth would
lead to the other person feeling let down or angry. I lie when I
don't want to hurt someone's feelings. I don't outright lie to
impress, but occasionally, if I am with someone who makes me feel
insecure, I'll exaggerate. I also occasionally exaggerate when I get
carried away with telling a story just because I want it to be a
instinct to lie tends to relate to other people and their thoughts
and feelings rather than my own. In essence, I don't lie for gain or
personal advancement, I lie to avoid - to avoid confrontation, to
avoid feeling like I'm a failure, to avoid anger and disappointment,
to spare everyone's feelings, because it's easier.
why I want money. Because it's easier. If you have enough money, you
can live one step removed from all the crap in life.